[IVF Journey] Our First Pregnancy - The First 4 Weeks

In retrospect, I actually had an unfounded intuition about the possibility of losing this baby right in the beginning. It was really weird because I didn't know much about pregnancy loss, or even pregnancies in general during that time. 

I stumbled upon some information on chemical pregnancy, and felt a grey lump in my chest that this might happen to me. 

But what actually happened was worse.

I wrote the below blog during the first few weeks of that pregnancy, and it documented the "foreshadowing". 

Week 1 - 4

If you have not seen how it all happened, you can see it HERE.

So base on our pregnancy test or my hormones, I was 2 - 3 weeks pregnant. Judging from my last ovulation though, I should be 17 days pregnant to be exact. We went to see our family doctor two days after the test, and according to the due-date calculation, I should be considered 4 weeks pregnant.

In retrospect, I guess I was experiencing some of the early pregnancy symptoms. Below is a list of common symptoms. Every woman and every pregnancy experience is different, and as for me, I've only felt a few (those checked).

Missed Period ✅
My first and most obvious symptom was my missed period. My period has been pretty on time, so even a few days late could be a sign.

Spotting ❎
After conception, the fertilized egg attaches itself to the uterus wall, this is called implantation. This could cause light spotting, called implantation bleeding. I did not experience any spotting. But I can understand the fear if I had seen blood, even knowing it could be common. If you notice heavier or darker spotting though, go see your doctor immediately. Sometimes heavier spotting could be the cause of a chemistry pregnancy. I will explain more about this later.

Cramping ✅ 
During implantation, you could experience cramps similar to those during or prior to menstruation. I had very subtle cramps and discomfort, very similar to how I felt every month before my period. This is also why I was so sure my period was coming and did not even consider the chance that I could be pregnant.

Breast Tenderness  ✅

I do experience breast tenderness during menstruation, but this time, they were extra tender. I joked to Frank that, "hey, maybe I'm pregnant !". But I obviously did not take my own joke seriously. 

Fatigue ❎

Nausea (Morning Sickness) ❎

Thank God and knock on wood, I don't want to jinx anything. 

Bloating ✅

Frequent Urination ❎

Constipation ❎

Mood Swings ❎

Headaches ❎

Dizziness ❎

As you can see, during week 1 - 4, my early pregnancy signs are all very subtle. So even after confirming I have a baby growing in my tummy, I couldn't really feel the realness of it all. I continued my life as usual, 

- but have started taking maternal vitamins (make sure your vitamin contains at least 400mcg of folic acid, and 

- downloaded many pregnancy related books into my Kindle. 

- did more research online, which is how I came to learn about Chemical Pregnancy.

Basically, a chemical pregnancy is a very early miscarriage that happens shortly after or during implantation - as early as you may not even know it, because it might happen before your expected period. Chemical pregnancy is apparently fairly common. It may account for 75% of all miscarriages. If the embryo does not get implanted successfully, while the changing hormones could turn a pregnancy test positive, it's not strong enough to progress beyond that point.

Chemical pregnancy is more known to people now, since many pregnancy tests can detect faint HCG levels at a very premature stage, before menstruation. So some women might get a positive test, but get their period after, due to a chemical pregnancy. 

Knowing that miscarriage and chemistry pregnancy are all fairly common possibilities. Frank and I have decided to keep an open heart to all possible outcomes; and only share the news until we ensure that the baby is stable. We won't tell our parents until after our first ultrasound appointment, which is a month from now.

Obviously, we pray for a smooth and healthy pregnancy. I am being as responsible and educated as I can be as a new mother. But to be completely honest, I am still not feeling any overwhelming joy or excitement yet. I'm still feeling as neutral as I was. I guess at this point, it still has not hit me yet. I really wonder when it will ?